Luxury Volga Views: Moscow's Hidden Gem Hotel!
Okay, buckle up, because we're about to dive, headfirst, into the glorious, slightly wonky world of Luxury Volga Views: Moscow's Hidden Gem Hotel! I'm talking a full-on, warts-and-all review. Expect some rambling, some gushing, and maybe a little side-eye. Because let's be real, no place is perfect, and that's half the fun.
Headline: Luxury Volga Views: Moscow's Hidden Gem? Hold My Vodka! (A Mostly Honest Review)
Alright, real talk. You're looking at a Moscow hotel, eh? You're expecting opulent, right? Well, Luxury Volga Views delivers mostly. It's like, imagine a really well-dressed babushka who occasionally forgets her lipstick. It’s got charm! It’s got flaws! And it's definitely memorable.
First impressions? Let's unpack them… starting with that View!
The name isn't lying. The views are SPECTACULAR. I mean, jaw-dropping. You wake up and you're basically gazing out at the Volga! Imagine it: a misty morning, the sun trying to peek over the city, maybe a lone boat… *Sigh. Worth the price of admission right there. The *Pool with a View* is no joke either. It's ridiculously Instagrammable. (Yes, I succumbed. Judge me.)
Accessibility - Let's talk about the stuff you REALLY need to
Let's be real, I didn't specifically investigate accessibility. But I did notice there was an Elevator, which is always a good start. And the sheer size of the hotel tells me they probably took accessibility into the consideration, not that I'm going to assume anything. I'm going to say, check with the hotel directly about specific needs. Seriously, don't just take my word for it!
Rooms: Where the Magic (and Minor Annoyances) Happen
My room? Oh, honey, it was a room. (Let's be honest, I mostly cared about that view, so!) Spacious? Yes. Clean? Mostly. There was this slight… smell. No, no, not a bad smell, but a "freshly cleaned with a hint of… something" smell. You know? Kinda like a grandmother's house with too much potpourri. Again, I'm splitting hairs here! The Bed? Divine. The Blackout Curtains? My saviors. Waking up at 6am with the Moscow sun? No thank you!
Alright, here's what's available in Every Room (I'm going to stop typing things, because the list is insane!)
- Air conditioning (thank GOODNESS)
- Alarm clock (you know you're going to need it)
- Bathrobes (soft, people! SO soft!)
- Bathroom phone (Seriously, who still uses these?)
- Bathtub (needed after a long day seeing Moscow)
- Blackout curtains (essential!)
- Carpeting (I'm a sucker for carpets)
- Closet (plenty of space for your fancy traveling outfits!)
- Coffee/tea maker (Morning necessity!)
- Complimentary tea (Nice touch!)
- Daily housekeeping (Thank you, sweet angels!)
- Desk (got some work to do?)
- Extra long bed (Always a bonus)
- Free bottled water (yayyy)
- Hair dryer (critical for us ladies!)
- High floor (more views = amazing)
- In-room safe box (always smart)
- Interconnecting room(s) available
- Internet access – LAN (for you tech nerds)
- Internet access – wireless (Wi-Fi – yeah!)
- Ironing facilities (wrinkle-free travel, here i come!)
- Laptop workspace (staying connected, I guess)
- Linens (soft!)
- Mini bar (go wild!)
- Mirror (selfie central)
- Non-smoking (thank goodness!)
- On-demand movies (yay)
- Private bathroom (essential!)
- Reading light (for those late-night book worms)
- Refrigerator (cool drink storage!)
- Safety/security feature (always important)
- Satellite/cable channels (good for unwinding)
- Scale (do you really want to know?)
- Seating area (a place to relax)
- Separate shower/bathtub
- Shower (yes, you'll want one)
- Slippers (ahhh feet so soft!)
- Smoke detector (stay safe, people!)
- Socket near the bed (life saver!)
- Sofa (perfect for relaxing)
- Soundproofing (necessary for the noisiest tourists like myself)
- Telephone (phone calls yuck)
- Toiletries (smell nice at least)
- Towels (thank god cause it's wet in there)
- Umbrella (Moscow rain, be prepared!)
- Visual alarm (for those who need it!)
- Wake-up service (for when no one can do it)
- Wi-Fi [free] (praise the gods)
- Window that opens (air is key)
Food, Glorious Food (and the Occasional Quirks)
The Breakfast [Buffet]? A feast. Seriously. All the usual suspects (Western and Asian dishes) and then some. I'm talking blinis, pastries, the works! The Coffee Shop? Yes, please! The Restaurants themselves? A mix. The International Cuisine in the Restaurant was solid, nothing life-changing, but definitely good. Food is definitely well covered to suit everyone! Also, the Room service [24-hour] is a godsend. Sometimes, you just need a burger at 3 AM, right? (Don't judge me.)
Now, the quirks! The Asian breakfast was… interesting. Let's just say my taste buds were challenged. And the Soup in Restaurant? Sometimes hit-or-miss in terms of flavor, but if you're in a pinch, it works.
Eating, Dining, and Snacking: A Whirlwind of Options
- A la carte in restaurant (if you want to choose directly)
- Alternative meal arrangement (if you have dietary requirements)
- Asian breakfast (hmm, let's go)
- Asian cuisine in restaurant (why not!)
- Bar (fancy cocktails, please)
- Bottle of water (always good)
- Breakfast [buffet]
- Breakfast service (for if the main buffet is too much)
- Buffet in restaurant
- Coffee/tea in restaurant (a must!)
- Coffee shop (the caffeine hit)
- Desserts in restaurant (hello desserts!)
- Happy hour (time to get loose)
- International cuisine in restaurant (the standard)
- Poolside bar (for cocktail and gossip)
- Restaurants (where you eat)
- Room service [24-hour] (always perfect)
- Salad in restaurant (gotta have something healthy in there)
- Snack bar (for all that mindless snacking)
- Soup in restaurant (you may want it later)
- Vegetarian restaurant (for the plant based life)
- Western breakfast (for those who missed home!)
- Western cuisine in restaurant (a bit boring, but necessary)
Relaxation Heaven (and a Minor Spa Mishap)
The Spa/sauna? Divine. The Massage was AMAZING. I mean, amazing. Pure bliss. The Steamroom? Perfect for sweating out all that vodka.
OK, total honesty. I tried the Body scrub and… well, let's just say the aesthetician had a very heavy hand. I swear, I lost a layer of skin. Not the hotel's fault, probably just a one-off, but be warned!
Here are your options!!
- Body scrub
- Body wrap
- Fitness center
- Foot bath
- Gym/fitness
- Massage
- Pool with view
- Sauna
- Spa
- Spa/sauna
- Steamroom
- Swimming pool
- Swimming pool [outdoor]
Cleanliness and Safety: The Things Everyone Cares About Now
The hotel takes things seriously. I saw Staff trained in safety protocol. The Rooms sanitized between stays thing? Reassuring as heck, especially after traveling through a busy city. They've got the goods.
- Anti-viral cleaning products
- Cashless payment service
- Daily disinfection in common areas
- Doctor/nurse on call
- First aid kit
- Hand sanitizer
- Hot water linen and laundry washing
- Hygiene certification
- Individually-wrapped food options
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter
- Professional-grade sanitizing services
- Room sanitization opt-out available
- Rooms sanitized between stays
- Safe dining setup
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into my Volga Apart Hotel Moscow adventure. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions, questionable decisions, and enough blather to make you question your life choices. This isn't your sanitized travel brochure; this is the raw, unfiltered truth.
Volga Apart Hotel, Moscow – The Not-So-Glamorous Guide
(Pre-Trip Meltdown/Pre-Game Jitters - aka, The Week Before)
Right, so the excitement! The kind where you're simultaneously thrilled and convinced you’ve forgotten something vital, like your passport (panic level: nuclear). Packing? More like throwing everything I own into a bag and hoping for the best. My Russian phrasebook? Still gathering dust. I’m basically going in blind, which is probably a good metaphor for my life right now.
(Day 1: Arrival – "It’s Cold, But in a Good Way?" (Maybe))
- Flight: Landed at Sheremetyevo Airport. Wow. Massive. Immigration? Surprisingly painless! (Small victory!) The air, though… biting. A crisp, invigorating cold that simultaneously slapped me awake and made me question my life choices regarding appropriate layering.
- Transfer to Volga Apart Hotel: Taxi driver clearly thought I was a complete idiot. I mean, I probably looked it, fumbling with Russian rubles, staring wide-eyed at everything. The ride was a blur of brutalist architecture and Cyrillic, which looked like a bunch of angry squiggles to me. I kept muttering, "Spasibo," just to sound like I knew what I was doing.
- Check-in: Volga Apart Hotel. The lobby… eh. Functional. The receptionist, a woman who could probably make a statue crack under her gaze, processed me efficiently. No smiles, just business. The room itself… spacious! Cleanish. The view? Okay, didn’t exactly overlook the Kremlin or anything, but a courtyard with some scraggly trees will do. (Update: I'm liking the scraggly trees, more than I anticipated.)
- Immediate Reaction: Okay, I’m here. Moscow. Russia. This is… real. First impressions? Cold. And big. And I'm terribly underprepared. My internal monologue is screaming for a strong espresso.
(Day 1: Afternoon – "Lost in Translation and the Metro's Grime")
- Metro Attempt: Brave the Moscow Metro. Instructions from a friend: "Just follow the crowds, it's idiot-proof." Famous last words. Ended up on the wrong line, circled a station for what felt like an hour, and nearly had a panic attack when I couldn't understand the announcements. The stations themselves? Gorgeous! Like underground palaces, but also carrying the scent of… well, a lot of humanity. Grime, yes. But also history. And a palpable sense of everyone just doing something.
- My First Russian Meal: Found a little canteen near the hotel. Ordered…something. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you what it was. It was some form of meat in a sauce, probably a spud. The babushka serving me looked like she’d seen it all (which, in fairness, she probably had). Delicious! My taste buds have never had it so good.
- Emotional State: Exhausted, overwhelmed, and slightly terrified, but also giddy with a strange, caffeinated energy. Love is a strange, beautiful thing to be in.
(Day 2: Red Square and the Kremlin – "Holy Buildings, Batman!")
- Morning: Red Square. So, so many tourists. And the buildings! St. Basil's? Unreal. Like a candied dream. The Kremlin? Imposing. A bit… stern. Had to resist the urge to take a selfie every three seconds.
- History Ramblings: The sheer weight of history in this place is… intense. I mean, you're literally standing where empires have risen and fallen. I’m not usually one for history, but here? It’s impossible to ignore. I felt a strange sense of awe and a touch of trepidation. And, okay, maybe I got a little emotional gazing up at those onion domes.
- Kremlin Cathedrals…The Moment That Broke Me Okay, I have never understood the devout. But the Cathedrals…I stood, mouth agape, looking up at the painted ceilings. Gold. Enormous. Incredible. I did not weep, but the tears came close. Never have I felt the weight of history so heavy. I'm going to go back, just to feel that again.
(Day 2: The Food That Stoked the Fire)
- Lunch: We found this restaurant, tucked away from the bustle, serving delicious food. The pelmeni? OMG. I ordered what was probably a vodka and tonic and the waiter seemed to think it wasn't what I meant (and he was probably right), but the food was heaven.
- Evening: The Evening's Downfall Let's change the pacing now. We fell into a bar and ordered some drinks… I should have known better. I'm terrible with vodka. Woke up the next morning, embarrassed, with an aching head. I'm never drinking vodka again.
(Day 3: Artsy Stuff and Random Encounters – The Aftermath)
- Tretyakov Gallery: (Mostly thanks to being sober). Impressive. I was impressed by the paintings even if I didn't understand every brushstroke. I did walk around, and I was in awe and was actually enjoying it. I'm not sure I'm an art person but I certainly liked that.
- The random guy A Russian guy came up and started babbling to me in Russian. I, of course, understood none of it. He just kept talking, gesturing animatedly. I just kept smiling and nodding. Eventually, he just shrugged and wandered off. I think I just made a friend.
- Dinner I wandered in another canteen. I ordered what I knew, something in meat in a sauce probably from the same place. The babushka smiled at me. The food was heaven again. And I was happy.
(Day 4: Departure – "Leaving Moscow (and a Piece of My Sanity) Behind")
- Packing: Chaotic. I’d somehow managed to acquire more things. Mostly unnecessary souvenirs (a matryoshka doll that looks vaguely insane, a fur hat that’s probably shedding like crazy).
- The Volga Apart Hotel: No, it wasn't the "luxury" experience. It was, though, a place. It was comfortable enough, for me. It was in place. I would recommend it.
- Taxi Ride: Back to the airport, bidding farewell to the city.
- Flight: Airborne. Looking down at Moscow, a patchwork of history, beauty, and grit.
- Final Thoughts: Moscow… you were a trip. A beautiful, messy, confusing, incredible trip. I’m exhausted, exhilarated, and already plotting my return. Goodbye, for now, you great, sprawling beast of a city.
Luxury Volga Views: Moscow's Hidden Gem? (Or Maybe Not...) - Your Burning Questions (and My Rambling Answers)
Okay, so "Luxury Volga Views"...sounds... pretentious. Is it? Does it actually *have* views?
Alright, alright, let's tackle the elephant in the room: the name. "Luxury Volga Views." It's like they hired a thesaurus wizard who was also a stickler for geographical accuracy. And yes, they do... *kind of* have views. My room, which they grandiosely called the "Emperor's Suite" (I swear, I think I got a tiny, slightly off-centered view of a building across the way, but the Volga? More like "Volga-adjacent." The "luxury"? Well, the towels were fluffy, I'll give 'em that. But the wallpaper in the bathroom…let's just say it was a bold choice. Very…floral. And peeling slightly. Ugh. And the balcony? Tiny. Like, "could barely squeeze out there with my morning coffee."
Is the location actually *hidden*? Like, do I need to hire a Sherpa and a camel to get there?
"Hidden Gem," right? More like "Slightly Off the Beaten Path by a Few Bus Stops." It's not *hard* to find, per se. But you know, the directions on their website, were...vague. Like, "Turn left at the crumbling statue of Lenin." I spent ages searching, muttering about the Soviet era and my increasingly damp shoes while I searched in the rain. Eventually, I found it. Turns out it was behind a… well, a slightly less crumbling statue of Lenin. There's a convenience store with a guy selling bootleg dvds nearby. So, yes, technically you might need a Sherpa to deal with the minor inconvenience, but the camel is optional.
What about the food? I'm a foodie. Will I starve? Will it be…good?
Okay, the food. This is where things get… complicated. The main restaurant, the "Imperial Feast Hall" (I swear, the naming convention is a bit extra here), was… an experience. The menu promised culinary wonders, all sorts of exotic dishes, etc. I ordered the borscht. Now, I *love* borscht. I've had borscht that moved me to tears. This borscht… was beige. It tasted like faintly flavored water with a hint of… sadness, maybe? I ordered a second dish because I was starving. It was... a meat based dish with a strange bitter flavor. Breakfast was a bit better. They had a decent selection of cheeses and bread and some kind of omelet station, but after the previous evenings experience, I was a little worried. I loaded up on the bread, though, just in case. The service was friendly enough, but again, the entire experience was… underwhelming. The chefs? I hope they're having a good second career...
The staff - are they friendly? English speakers? Are they secretly plotting to steal my passport?
Generally, the staff *were* friendly. Mostly. There was this one woman at the front desk who gave me the side-eye every time I asked for something, like extra towels. Also, in the restaurant, there was a waiter who looked like he'd seen a ghost... or maybe just the borscht that I tried to consume earlier. The English was…variable. Some spoke it fluently; others, not so much. Communication could be an adventure. But passport-stealing? Nah, I think you’re safe. Maybe. Okay, probably.
The rooms – are they *actually* luxurious? Describe the room!
"Luxury" is in the eye of the beholder, right? My "Emperor's Suite." Let me paint you a picture: Large, yes. With a bed that was, surprisingly, quite comfortable. But the decor? Think… Soviet-era chic meets grandma’s attic. There was this massive, slightly chipped mirror that made me feel like I was in a hall of reflections. The bathroom had a shower that could fluctuate between scalding and freezing in a matter of seconds. No real fan or ventilation, with that flowery wallpaper. And the wifi? Let's just say I used up all my data trying to upload a single photo to Instagram. And the balcony. The balcony! Tiny. And the view? Well, that building again. At night. And the lights. Lights flickering on and off. The Emperor’s suite indeed.
Is there anything nice about it? The *good* bits, what's the deal?
Okay, okay, before you think I hated the whole experience, here's the good stuff. The location, once you find it, is actually pretty close to the city attractions. There was a small gym, which was also empty during my stay. The fluffy towels, I liked them. And, honestly, the slight shabbiness had a certain charm. Like it was a bit of a time trip, but not in a particularly bad way. If you understand that it's a bit of a fixer-upper hotel, you might actually find it charming. Just don't go in with expectations of a Four Seasons experience. Embrace the imperfections, the slightly suspect borscht, and the questionable wallpaper. And maybe pack some extra data, just in case.
Would you go back?
Honestly? Maybe. If I could get a good deal and knew what I were getting into, yeah. It wasn't a complete disaster. And hey, the experience gave me some fantastic stories to tell! But I think I'd bring my own borscht recipe. And maybe a good book to read on that miniscule balcony.
