Unbelievable Big Cave Camp Matopos: Zimbabwe's Hidden Gem!
Unbelievable Big Cave Camp Matopos: Zimbabwe's Hidden Gem! (Or Is It?) - A Brutally Honest Review
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from Unbelievable Big Cave Camp Matopos. And let me tell you, "unbelievable" is a loaded word. It promises the sublime, the unexpected, the… well, you get the picture. So, did it deliver? Mostly. But this isn't going to be one of those perfectly polished travel blogs. This is real talk.
First Impressions & Accessibility (or, the Drive that Nearly Killed Me):
Getting there is half the battle, friends. Let me be clear: accessibility in the literal sense of "easy to get to" isn't really a thing here. We're talking rough roads. Rough. Like, "car-clenched-teeth-and-a-prayer" rough. But hey, if you're up for an adventure, and you're reasonably mobile (especially if you're considering the facilities for disabled guests offered), the payoff is worth it. The scenery en route is stunning, all granite kopjes and baobab trees. Just make sure your vehicle can handle it. Don't even think about a sedan.
(Rambling Moment): I swear, that drive… it was like a safari park of potholes. I nearly lost my lunch. But then, I saw a baboon, and I felt something. Not sure what, but it was there. Maybe it was adrenaline. Maybe it was the sheer absurdity of the whole situation. Either way, I was hooked.
The Rooms & Getting Settled (Wi-Fi? In the Middle of Nowhere?):
Okay, so we booked a standard room because, well, budget. Turns out, standard is pretty damn good here. Air conditioning (thank the heavens!), a mini-bar to chill some drinks, and (gasp!) free Wi-Fi in all rooms! I mean, Internet access – LAN and Internet access – wireless too. That's a level of connectivity I wasn't expecting so far from civilization. My Wi-Fi [free] worked… most of the time. Let’s be real, it's Internet in the bush. You’re going to be staring at the landscape more than your screen. The bathrobes were a nice touch, the free bottled water a lifesaver, and the blackout curtains were a godsend for those post-safari naps. We did have a mirror (always a plus!), and even a scale if you wanted to track the damage from desserts in restaurant (more on that later!). The alarm clock…meh, my sunblock was more reliable.
The Vibe & Relaxation Station:
The terrace offered incredible views, perfect for sipping a sundowner (complimentary tea, of course). The pool with view wasn't Olympic size, but it was perfect for a refreshing dip after a sweaty day of exploring. The spa and sauna looked inviting, though I (ahem) didn't partake. Didn't have time! Every day was packed.
But let me tell you, the massage… massge was simply DIVINE! I felt like fresh laundry afterward. I mean, massages are simply a MUST while you are exploring. This brings the spa/sauna together which is cool.
But the Poolside bar was also great to grab a drink and relax. The happy hour specials were a welcome bonus.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: The Food Saga:
Okay, this is where things get interesting. Restaurants: plural. Restaurants with International Cuisine in restaurant. We didn't go hungry that's for sure. I opted for the Western cuisine in restaurant more often than not, because I'm basic like that. The Breakfast [buffet] was decent, complete with Asian breakfast options for the adventurous (not me!). We also utilized the Coffee/tea in restaurant and the Coffee shop; caffeine is crucial. The Soup in restaurant, while seemingly simple, was absolutely delectable on one chilly evening. The A la carte in restaurant was pretty darn good, too, but let's talk about the desserts in restaurant. The Desserts in restaurant were heaven and I may have over indulged. The Poolside bar also delivered great drinks.
(Anecdote Time): I tried the game meat one night. I'm not going to lie; I was a little hesitant. But it was delicious. One of the best meals I've had in ages! Now, the Vegetarian restaurant might have had a couple less options, but the staff were always happy to work with us to offer Alternative meal arrangement.
Cleanliness, Safety, and the COVID-19 Dance:
The team here is clearly taking things seriously. I saw Hand sanitizer everywhere, and the staff were all super diligent about hand sanitizer and Physical distancing of at least 1 meter. The Anti-viral cleaning products were used, and Rooms sanitized between stays. A lot. The Staff trained in safety protocol were fantastic. I felt safe the whole time.
(Imperfection Alert): While everything seemed sanitized, I did spot a few dust bunnies, and the rooms sanitized between stays didn't always smell quite as fresh as I'd hoped. Minor quibbles though, honestly.
Things To Do (When You’re Not Too Busy Eating or Sleeping):
This is where the "Unbelievable" really earns its stripes. The Things to do list is HUGE!
- Rock Art: The ancient rock art sites are truly mind-blowing. Pack your shoes.
- Game Drives: Seeing rhinos in their natural habitat? Unforgettable. A real safari, not just the car park [free of charge].
- Hiking: Wear good shoes, bring water, and stay steady!
- Sunsets: Every single one is a postcard. Seriously.
(Opinionated Moment): Don't miss the Couple's room experience here!
Services and Conveniences (The Little Things That Matter):
The Concierge was helpful in arranging everything. The Daily housekeeping (thank you, sweet angels!), and the Laundry service were lifesavers. The Cash withdrawal option was useful. Meeting/banquet facilities if you are travelling for business (probably unlikely, but you never know!). The Gift/souvenir shop was well-stocked.
For the Kids (If You're Traveling with the Little Rascals):
They had a Babysitting service (good to know!), and Kids meal. The Family/child friendly vibe was definitely there.
Getting Around (Besides the Terrifying Drive):
There's Airport transfer (thank goodness!), Taxi service, and Car park [on-site].
The Verdict (Drumroll, Please…):
Unbelievable Big Cave Camp Matopos? Yeah, it's pretty darn close. It's not perfect. But the imperfections are part of its charm. The location is stunning, the staff are amazing, the activities are exhilarating, and the food… well, the food is a reason to go on its own! I'm already planning my return trip.
Offer – Book Now and Get a FREE* Rhino Tracking Experience!
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Escape to Paradise: Luv-Kush Inn Patna - Your Dream Getaway Awaits!
Okay, buckle up, buttercup, because we're about to dive headfirst into a chaotic, beautiful, gloriously imperfect adventure in Big Cave Camp, Matopos, Zimbabwe. This isn't some meticulously planned, Instagram-filtered getaway. This is real travel, warts and all. Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions, questionable decisions, and the occasional existential crisis fueled by a particularly potent sundowner.
Big Cave Camp: The "Rough Around the Edges, Utterly Breathtaking" Edition (My Itinerary…if you can call it that)
(Day 1: The Arrival…and the Immediate Realization I Forgot Half My Underwear)
- 5:00 AM - The Getaway from hell. Woke up at a god-awful hour at Heathrow, fueled by instant coffee that tasted like sadness and the vague promise of adventure. The flight? Uneventful, which is a good thing. Except for the chap next to me who snored like a pneumatic drill. Found myself contemplating strangling him with a pretzel. Restraint, self-control, etc. I'm working on it.
- 4:00 PM - Bulawayo to Big Cave Camp - The Scenic Route (and the Near-Death Experience with a Baboon). Landed in Bulawayo, feeling a mix of jet lag and pure, unadulterated excitement. The guy from the camp was there to pick us up, a lovely, quietly efficient man named Mr. Thandi. The drive was… something. The landscape went from dusty plains to granite hills that look like giant sleeping elephants. We stopped to get snacks and I got so engrossed in selecting my sugar-rush-inducing delights that I nearly got MY HEAD TAKEN OFF by a GIANT FREAKING BABOON. Seriously, almost lost my hat, my dignity, and possibly my life. "Africa" they said. "It'll be great" they reassured. They were right, but GODDAMN.
- 5:00 PM - Check-In (and The Moment I Saw "That Rock" - Arrived at Big Cave Camp. The view? HOLY CRAP. Jaw-dropping. Legitimately biblical. The granite formations! The endless sky! The sound of nothing but the wind and the rustling of leaves! The chalets? Nestled into the rock, cozy as hell, and (thank God) with a proper bed. I knew this place was special.
- 6:00 PM - Settling In… (and Discovering the Underwear Deficiency). Unpacked. Or, rather, looked in the bag where my underwear are supposed to be. Empty. Completely and utterly bereft of the essential foundation garments. Panic set in. "How am I supposed to hike, explore, and generally be a functioning human being without a sufficient supply of… support?" I vowed to buy some at the first opportunity, which turned out to be a village shop that sold "trunks" and "thermal underwear".
- 7:00 PM - Sundowners and Starry Nights. The bar at Big Cave Camp overlooks the vastness of the Matopos. Sipping a G&T, watching the sunset streak across the sky in shades of orange, pink, and purple. The air was crisp, the company was delightful (a really cool couple from Germany), and I felt this overwhelming sense of…peace. And then I dropped my drink. A small imperfection in an otherwise perfect moment. Oh well. Someone had to. Then the stars came out. Millions of them. I’ve never seen anything like it. I seriously felt like I could reach out and touch them.
(Day 2: Hiking, History, and a Serious Confrontation with My Cardio)
- 7:00 AM - Wake-Up (and the Realization My Body Hates Me). Woke up. Every muscle in my body screamed in protest. The hike yesterday was a bit more aggressive than I anticipated. Aching everywhere. But, you know, gotta push through.
- 8:00 AM - Breakfast with a View. The food at Big Cave Camp is incredible. Freshly cooked eggs, bacon, fruit, you name it. Fueled up for the day, staring out at that view. Still doesn't get old.
- 9:00 AM - A Walk Among the Ancients (and Discovering I’m Not as Fit as I Thought) We went for a guided hike, to see the San Bushman paintings. They're ancient, beautiful, and steeped in mystery. The hike itself? STEEP. Like, “your lungs are going to explode” steep. I fell behind, huffing and puffing, feeling like a beached whale. Mr. Thandi, our guide, just smiled and offered me water. He's got the patience of a saint. I eventually made it. The paintings were worth it. The history, the sheer beauty of the place…incredible. And now I have new respect for ancient art and fitness.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch and Down Time. Enjoyed lunch at the camp and then lounged on the deck of my chalet, reading a book. Bliss. The silence, the solitude… this is what I needed. Just to be.
- 3:00 PM - Exploring the Cecil John Rhodes Grave (and Being Suddenly Overwhelmed by History). Okay, this one’s a biggie. Rhodes’ grave is on top of a giant granite boulder. The views are spectacular, but the weight of history is… well, it’s heavy. To stand there, looking out over the landscape he envisioned changing, knowing all that followed… it’s hard not to be moved, even if you have conflicted feelings about the guy. I found myself just standing there, totally speechless, contemplating empires and legacies. Weirdly cathartic.
- 6:30 PM - Dinner, Stories, and Falling in Love with Zimbabwe (A Little Bit). Dinner was fantastic, local cuisine cooked over a fire. Sat around the campfire with the other guests, sharing stories, laughing. The energy of the place had gotten to me. Zimbabwe is… special. It’s not just the landscapes. It’s the people. Their warmth, their resilience, their humour. I found myself completely charmed.
(Day 3: The Rhino Ride…and the Bitter-Sweet Goodbye)
- 6:00 AM - The Rhino Ride (and the Moment I Realized I Was Really, REALLY Close to a Rhino). This was the main event. A rhino walk. The alarm went off. Got out of bed. The rhino walk was a thrilling, terrifying experience. There we were, on foot, tracking these magnificent creatures. The anticipation was electric. We got close. Really, really close. Heart in my throat close. To see these animals in their natural habitat, knowing how vulnerable they are… it’s a powerful feeling. A privilege. I think the guides could see the terror in my eyes. I kept my mouth shut.
- 9:00 AM - Breakfast…and the lingering rhino fear. Ate breakfast. Still trembling. The fear was soon replaced with awe.
- 10:00 AM - Packing Up. (and the Inevitable Sadness). Packed my bag. Said goodbye. Said goodbye to the staff. Felt weird. Sad, even. I thought this would be an adventure, and it was. But it was also so relaxing and so beautiful.
- 11:00 AM - Leaving Big Cave Camp – The Longing. The drive back? Quiet. Reflective. I already missed it. Those granite hills, that sky, the people… I knew I'd be back.
- 4:00 PM - Landing in London. Here I am, back in the UK. The Big Cave Camp is so far away.
- 11:00 PM - Longing for Africa. Planning my return.
Final Thoughts:
Big Cave Camp is far more than a pretty place. It is a journey. A place that strips away the bullshit and leaves you with… yourself, and nature. Africa isn’t perfect. It’s not always easy. But it’s undeniably powerful. And it gets under your skin. I'm already counting down the days until I can go back. Now I need to get underwear.
Escape to Paradise: Alkion Hotel, Crete's Hidden Gem
Unbelievable Big Cave Camp: Matopos, Zimbabwe - Yeah, It's Pretty Darn Special... But Like, *Why*? A Messy FAQ
Okay, so you've heard about Big Cave Camp in Matopos, Zimbabwe? You're thinking, "Is it *really* that amazing?" Well, buckle up, buttercup. Let's get into this mess together. Because frankly, the answers aren't always pretty. And sometimes, they're just... weird.
1. Okay, Okay, So What *Is* Big Cave Camp, Exactly? Like, Elevator Pitch Me. And Keep it Concise, I'm Lazy.
Alright, here's the super-brief, unsexy version: It's a luxury camp nestled in the Matobo Hills, Zimbabwe. Think: giant granite boulders, sweeping views, comfy tents (or chalets, depends on your budget – more on *that* later), and a chance to disconnect from the world (and hopefully your phone). They have this thing called a "Big Cave," which… well, it's big. And you probably guessed it, it's a cave. They built a lodge inside. Boom. Done.
2. Luxury? Like, "Spill-Your-Coffee-On-A-Silk-Robe-And-They'll-Replace-It" Luxury?
Ha! Not quite. (Though, knowing my clumsy self, that's a distinct possibility.) It's *African* luxury. Think: stunning views, comfortable beds, delicious food, and friendly staff who genuinely want you to have a good time. The rooms are beautiful, but they're not sterile. There's a real connection to the environment. You *feel* like you're in Africa, not just in some generic hotel room. The 'luxury' is in the experience, the quiet, the feeling of wildness. Though, like, bring your own coffee-spill-absorbent wipes. Just in case.
3. So, The Boulders. Are We Talking Real-Life Teletubbyland? Or Just… Rocks?
Oh, honey, the boulders. They are *everything*. Okay, maybe not *everything*, but they're a huge part of the magic. Imagine a landscape sculpted by giants, all smooth curves and dramatic angles. You're climbing over them, through them (there's a specific, slightly terrifying climb you *must* do to get the best view!), and generally feeling tiny and insignificant in the best possible way. It's like stepping into a fantasy movie. Seriously, you feel like you should be battling a dragon or something.
And the views? Forget about it. Breathtaking. Seriously. I teared up a little the first time I saw the sunset from the top of one. Don't tell anyone. And for God's sake, wear good shoes. I almost broke my ankle trying to be "stylish" once. Learned my lesson.
4. Seriously, What's To *Do* There? Besides, You Know, Staring. And Climbing.
Okay, besides the staring and climbing (which is honestly, a *lot* of the fun), there are guided walks, game drives (you might spot some cool wildlife—I saw a leopard *once*; fleeting, glorious, and completely terrifying, like meeting your ex), and visits to ancient rock art sites. You can even, get this, see Cecil Rhodes' grave! which is weirdly moving. It’s all so… *historic*.
But the *best* thing? Just chilling. Seriously. Grab a book (paper!), sit on your veranda, and listen to the silence. It's a rare commodity nowadays. And when I say listen, I mean *listen*. Birds, wind, the occasional distant baboon chorus. It’s… therapeutic. Until, y'know, the baboons get too close. Then it's slightly less therapeutic, mostly because they’re noisy little thugs.
5. And The Food? Is It All Just, Like, "Grilled Whatever" And "Sad Salad?"
Absolutely not! They take the food *seriously*. Expect delicious, freshly prepared meals. Lots of meat, but also some vegetarian options. They're really accommodating if you have dietary restrictions, too. I, however, am not vegetarian and was in carnivore heaven, I remember this incredible roast that was... *chef's kiss*. Though sometimes my memory fades, and I can't say I am a food critic. Think, fresh ingredients, outdoor settings, maybe a braai (barbecue) thrown in. They cater to all tastes, just tell the staff beforehand.
6. Budget? Because Real Talk: I'm Not A Millionaire. Or, You Know, A Thousand-aire.
Look, let’s be honest. It's not a budget backpacker kind of place. It's an investment. But, and this is key, you're paying for an *experience*. A truly unforgettable one. Prices vary depending on the season and your room choice. Do your research, compare options, and see what fits your wallet. Saving up for it is *worth it*. Seriously. Think of it as an experience, a chance to unplug, and connect… and, hey, at least you're not spending it on a yacht.
And, a pro-tip: if you have to choose between the super-deluxe chalet and the slightly less-deluxe tent, go for the tent. It's still freaking amazing, and you'll save some dough. Plus, you'll probably spend most of your time outside, anyway. Spend that extra money on a good bottle of wine… or two.
7. Okay, Okay. Best (AND WORST) Parts? Give It To Me Straight.
Alright, the *best* parts... are: the views, the feeling of being completely immersed in nature, the sunsets that will literally stop you in your tracks, the friendly staff, the delicious food, and the sheer sense of peace. And the stars at night! Unbelievable.
The *worst* parts? Probably the occasional baboon bandit raid (they *will* try to steal your snacks), the fact that you eventually have to leave (I sobbed a little when I did), and the realization that you'll spend the next few months trying to recreate the experience in your boring, everyday life. Also, the climb to the top of that one particular boulder. It’s worth it, but my thighs still ache just thinking about it.
8. The "Big Cave" – Is It Really That Big? Or Just… A Cave?
Okay, I'll level with you. It's big. *Really* big. And it's beautiful, with this incredible sense of history and awe. But the best part is that the lodge is actually *inside* the cave. Imagine having breakfast with the sun streaming through the giant gap at the cave's mouth. It's almost… spiritual. The entire experience, I remember thinking about how the people before me, centuries ago, did the same thing. It sounds cheesy, I know. But it's a unique experience.
